


My Neighbor Baba Yaga

by CeslaToil



Series: Some Enchanted Evening AU [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Danger, Domestic Fluff, Fairy Tale Elements, Gen, Giants, Post Finale, Quests, Some Enchanted Evening AU, Stan and Ford are dorks, Suspense, Titania trying to be a good motherly figure, Witches, friends in peril, the Fair Folk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7911355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeslaToil/pseuds/CeslaToil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After stumbling upon some ancient ruins in the woods, Dipper and Mabel find themselves in the strange and enchanting land of Faerie; a land where giants enjoy gardening and the fair folk roam free. A day of exploration and adventure quickly turns bleak however when the twins accidentally run into Baba Yaga, a fearsome witch with an insatiable appetite for children. Though the cannibalistic witch stalks them at every turn, Dipper and Mabel have allies as well: Flopsy, a happy-go-lucky Pooka, Petyr, a wolf who can talk but chooses to keep his mouth shut, and Queen Titania, a chain-smoking single mother who will do anything to protect those she cares for. But when Titania is wounded, it's ultimately up to the kids to stop Baba Yaga themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The White Deer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story takes place two weeks after the events of A Midsummer Nightmare. For the newcomers, here's a breif sum up of all the relevant information about that story that relates to My Neighbor Baba Yaga:
> 
> A few weeks ago, there was a festival for all the magical creatures that lived in Gravity Falls. Dipper had wanted to go (or, at the very least, Dipper had wanted to hang out with Wendy), but Ford had forbidden it, out of fear of a roving band of child kidnapping fairies called the Wild Hunt.
> 
> Dipper went out anyway.
> 
> It went about as well as you'd expect.
> 
> Happily enough, things worked out for the best-- the Hunt was defeated, wrongs were made right, relationships were formed, and most importantly, the gateway to another dimension, called Faerie, was left open. 
> 
> Also, Dipper was grounded. Because, come on.
> 
> Now. Let's begin...

It was an ugly sort of morning. The sky was a murky grey, promising rain, there loomed a fog through the air that was damp and muggy like a high school locker room (the only difference was the smell). The ground had turned to mud, thick as hot tar, which, though great for Waddles, spelled doom for clean clothes and freshly mopped floors alike.

It was going to be the best day ever, thought Dipper Pines, who was presently running down the stairs, his footsteps echoing at a rapid staccato. He had been cooped up in the Mystery Shack for two long, seemingly endless weeks. It hadn't been so bad the first weekend, as Mabel had done everything to get herself grounded as well: from neglecting chores to somehow dyeing both Stan and Ford's hair electric pink, she'd done it all for the sake of keeping her brother company during that first lonely weekend. However, Grenda was leaving that Monday for Austria (she was still dating a baron-- good for her!) so, Mabel's self imposed exile came to a screeching halt as she went to spend the day with her BFF's.

The days after that had been long, tedious affairs with no company and no real way to entertain himself. Dipper had gone through his summer reading assignments for school twice, completed every back-breaking chore Stan could think of around the house, and, in a moment of desperation, had even learned to make Empanadas from Soos' grandmother.

Worst of all was hearing all the tantalizing rumors that had began ever since the Midsummer Festival had ended. Every night at dinner, Soos had come back with stories various tourists and townsfolk had shared about all the increased magical activity around Gravity Falls. Stampedes of Leprecorns, wizard duels in the parking lot of of Greasy's Diner, Nixies loitering by water fountains: it seemed this strange town had gotten even stranger, and Dipper grew impatient for the day he could finally explore all its mysteries once more.

Dipper found both Stan and Ford in the living room: Stan was at the table gluing together some taxidermy abomination for the Mystery Shack (Soos refused to make taxidermy exhibits himself, the stuffed animal parts creeped him out too much), while Ford was reading from a green, leather-bound book. Ford peered up from his book momentarily, smiled a Dipper, and said, "Good morning!"

"Mornin' Dip Dop," said Stan, adding yet another antler to the mountain lion head he was working on.

"Um, hey Grunkle Stan, Great Uncle Ford," said Dipper, wringing his hands behind his back. "So... It's Saturday..."

"Yes, it certainly is," said Ford, not looking up from his book.

"It looks like death warmed over out there," said Stan, peering out of a nearby window.

"Yeah," said Ford, turning a silver-gilt page in his book, "probably the sort of day most people would want to stay in."

"Doing some chores."

"Taking a nap."

"Watching paint dry."

"Contemplating living existence in the vast, empty void of the expanding universe."

"... Guys, if I don't get out of this house today I'm going to explode from boredom," begged Dipper.

Stan and Ford smirked at one another, then, turning to Dipper, Ford said, "All right. Your two weeks are up, you are officially ungrounded."

"Yeah, scram kid," said Stan playfully, "We got important things to do today, we don't need ya getting under foot."

"Do you have important things to do today," asked Dipper, putting on a pair of shoes. His fingers trembled as he finished up the laces, finally he was free!

"Not in the slightest," said Ford, returning this attention to the book on his lap.

"Just try not to do anything too dangerous," Stan called after Dipper as the boy ran out the door. "My back's still killing me from when we fought that Oberon yutz."

Dipper practically leaped out onto the front yard, his feet slightly sinking into the warm mud. The day spread out before him with endless possibility. Dipper's mind raced as he tried to decide what to do first; however, his thoghts were interrupted when a fuzzy, sky-blue blur tackled him into a bone crushing hug.

"Hey guess what IT'S MABEL!"

Mable dropped her brother to the ground, a wide smile stretched across her cheerful face.

"Sorry I didn't hang out with you much this last week," said Mabel, noticing the little scowl Dipper was giving her. "Grenda's going away party was a must, and plus, after that Candy and I started hanging out like crazy! But I've also been working on a little something for ya, bro-bro!"

She handed Dipper a scrapbook that bore the title _While You Were Grounded_.

Dipper flipped through the pages, to his surprise, Mabel had diligently cut out newspaper clippings and snapped photos of all the magical happenings Dipper had missed in the past few weeks.

"This is amazing!" said Dipper as he flipped to a page containing a selfie Candy and Mabel had taken in front of the Wizard Duel. "I can't believe I missed out on all this! Thanks Mabel!"

"Get ready to thank me some more," said Mabel, taking back the photo album to flip to a certain section in the book, "because I know exactly what our next adventure is going to be!" She pointed to a sketch she had collected, one of a white deer that was running through the forest, pursued bye a mob of people.

"A deer?" asked Dipper, bemused. "What's so special about a deer?"

"It's a magic deer," said Mabel cheerfully as she flipped through to another page, which contained an article about the creature in question. "It's been sighted around town ever since Midsummer, and anyone who sees it gets incredible good luck!"

"Oh really?" said Dipper skeptically.

"It's true!" Mabel pointed to a few pictures placed by the article, "I've been following the story for days now; Wendy found it in her front yard, and the next day, she won a lifetime supply of flannel shirts from Beanie Richard's Hunting Supply Store! Then, it ran through McGucket's house on Tuesday--"

"That doesn't sound very lucky," said Dipper.

"But," said Mabel, pointing to McGucket's picture; the old man was surrounded by what looked like hundreds of paintings,"While chasing the deer out of the mansion he found a secret room full of rare paintings! They're not, ya know, caticature quality, but they were estimated for like, bajillions of dollars or something, and McGucket donated them to the Gravity Falls Museum, so that's just lucky for the whole town if you think about it!"

"I bet Preston Norhtwest loved that," said Dipper, smirking.

"Pacifica said he cried for a week," said Mabel with a nod.

"I dunno Mabel," said Dipper, narrowing his eyes at the article titled "Fawn and Fortune Await: Town Hunt for Lucky Deer Continues."

"What's there to be 'dunno' about?" asked Mabel.

"I mean, those just seem more like coincidences," said Dipper reasonably, "that's probably just a regular albino deer."

"We all thought that too, at first," said Mabel, "but that was before Blubs and Durland found it."

"What sort of lucky thing happened to them," Dipper asked.

"Well... It was kind of the opposite, actually," said Mabel, pointing to a picture of the two cops in question screaming as they were being chased by hordes of chipmunks and woodpeckers, "They went on a hunting trip and, when they saw the deer, they tried to shoot it... when they missed, the deer apparently started glowing and sprouted all these fangs, and it summoned all the creatures of the forest to terrorize them or something. So, definitely magical."

"So, this thing can turn into a full-fledged nightmare creature if you tick it off, and people are still trying to catch it?" said Dipper, raising and eyebrow. The people of this town grew odder every day.

"Only if you try to hurt it, which we're totally not going to do," said Mabel. "We are going to take all the pictures of it though! Just think how lucky we'll be if we can see it every day all the time in photo form!"

Mabel shut the photo album, all smiles and giggles as she pulled out a camera that was dangling by a strap around her neck. "So... what do ya say," she asked, holding up the camera.

Dipper smiled back at his sister.

"Nothing like chasing after a fortune altering deer on a day like this. Let's go!"

 


	2. The Ruins and What Dipper and Mabel Found There

The twins ran into several townsfolk who were on the hunt for the White Deer, including Toby Determined, who kept getting tangled up in a large butterfly net he carried with him; Thompson, who kept yelping at every snap of a twig or rustling of leaves while out in the woods; and Preston Northwest and a very annoyed looking Pacifica. Preston kept hobbling down the trail as if he hadn't worked a pair of human legs for a long stretch of time, and complained loudly to his daughter about his aching back every five minutes. This must have been the excuse he used to justify loading his daughter down with hiking and camping supplies like a pack mule, for Paz was carrying on her back a military-style backpack that was at least a foot taller than she was, and each step she took down the trail took a great deal of effort.

"We heard a rumor that there's a grove where the deer likes to graze," Paz told the twins over the sound of her father's griping. "I still don't know why he woke me up at five in the morning to go hiking after it, or why we brought half the house with us, but whatever." She and her father took a fork down the path away from the twins, the sound of Preston whining still echoing through the forest long after they left.

"Is it bad that I want Pacifica to find the deer and not her dad," whispered Mabel once the two were out of earshot.

"Technically speaking, I'd rather _we_ found the deer first," said Dipper, who spotted something that looked like hoof prints imprinted in the mud up ahead. "But, I get what you mean. Hopefully her dad doesn't do anything too stupid to get them cursed."

"We've been walking for hours though," sighed Mabel, wiping sweat from her brow as they followed the trail of hoof prints deeper into the forest. "We're no closer to catching the deer than when we started this morning."

"Well, hopefully these hoof prints belong to it," said Dipper, noticing the clouds were darkening above them with every passing minute. "It's probably going to start storming any minute, we'll have to find shelter when it does, and most likely the rain will wash away these tracks. If that happens, it might take days for us to find this elusive creature--"

"There it is," said Mabel, pointing to a grove that stood only a few feet away from them. There, in the center of the grove, stood the White Deer, munching away at a patch of clover in the shade of a hawthorn tree.

Now, just so we're clear, deer are actually awful, stupid creatures that eat all our crops and deliberately jump in front of cars just to ruin people's lives. Don't be fooled by their innocent facade. Deer are just jerks who don't deserve your sympathy. he only thing a deer is really good for is a nice, lean venison steak.

However, it was easy to forget these stone cold facts when faced with the White Deer's majestic grace and beauty. He was a massive deer with fur as pure and sparkling as starlight, and great, silver antlers that sprouted crown like from his skull.

Before Mabel could snap one picture, however, the deer shot his head up, took one look at the twins, and bolted.

"After it!" cried Dipper, and the twins were soon in hot pursuit of the creature. They could hear the Deer's hoof beats echoing throughout the forest, each step leaving behind massive prints upon the ground.

Before long, the twins found themselves outside a strange stone structure in the midst of the forest. The Deer had run through what looked like a rune-engraved doorway, an ominous carving of the sun and moon glared down upon the twins as the Deer quickly made its escape.

"Well, I wasn't planning on chasing this thing through spooky ruins," said Dipper, "but, I guess that's where the day has led us."

After a moment's hesitation, Dipper and Mabel ran through the door after the deer. It was pitch black through the ruins, gravel and who knows what else scraped against the soles of their shoes as they ran, the creature's faint outline barely visible in the darkness as they pursed the Deer.

"How far do you think this hallway goes," Mabel gasped, it felt like they had been running forever.

"There's a light just ahead," said Dipper, nearly tripping over a fallen brick as the Deer leaped through the doorway into the light.

At last, the twins were out of the ruins, and in totally different surroundings. They were standing in a field of wildflowers, the sky was bright blue with not a cloud to be seen. The air had a faint, crisp breeze to it, the exact opposite of the muggy weather in the forest.

"Um... where did we go?" asked Mabel, inspecting a patch of orange poppies that bloomed near her feet. "Why is the weather all non-disgusting?"

"And where did the Deer disappear to?" Dipper couldn't find a trace of the White Deer, which seemed to have vanished into oblivion.

Mabel seemed to have lost interest, however, she had already crafted a crown of flowers from the poppies and was wearing the creation on her head as she looked around. "It's kinda nice here," she said, spotting a few fairies hovering over another patch of flowers a few feet ahead. "Let's ask those guys where we are; who knows, maybe they even saw where the deer went?"

"Um, excuse me," said Dipper, approaching the fairies. "Do you mind telling me um, what this place is, and--"

Before Dipper could finish asking the question, one of the fairies puked all over the flowers; to Dipper's disgust, there seemed to be a faint glitter-like substance in the fairy's vomit.

"Sorry about that-- BLERGH," said another fairy, also vomiting. Each one in turn kept vomiting and apologizing to the kids in an endless loop, accomplishing nothing but grossing everyone out.

"Um... we're just going to... go over here now," said Mabel, backing away along with Dipper towards a nearby stream.

"This is all really weird, even by our usual standards of weird," said Dipper, who thought he saw a human face peering at him from the watery depths of the riverbank. "This place doesn't look anything like Gravity Falls, or anywhere near Oregon at all!"

"Well, puking fairies aside," said Mabel, waving to the creature lurking in the water (she swore she saw it wink back at her before swimming away), "I think it's kinda nice here."

"Hey, you! Over here!"

As the twins had wandered down the banks of the strange river, they came across a creature that had perched itself upon a rock near the flowing stream. It was the same size as an eight-year-old child, but it had dark, dusky fur all over its body and two long, floppy ears on top of its head.

"Bunny-Kid!" said Mabel, who had never learned the Pooka's name the last time they had met.

"Human-Girl!" said the Pooka, who's given name was Flopsy. He took one look at Dipper and cheerfully shouted, "I don't know you!"

"This is my twin brother, Dipper," said Mabel, "and my name's Mabel! Sorry, I don't really remember your name. It was kind of a crazy night."

"It's Flopsy... kind of," said the Pooka, "but what are y'all doing here?"

"See, that's the thing," said Dipper, "We're not really sure where _here_ is?"

"We were chasing after a magic White Deer," Mabel explained, "and it lead us here!"

"Ooooooh, that's so cool!" said Flopsy, "The Deer doesn't just lead any humans to Faerie without a reason! Y'all must have some kind of fancy mission it wants you to take care of."

"Wait... _Faerie?_ " said Dipper, his eyes widening in shock. "You mean to tell me that we're in another dimension?"

"Um... I guess so," said Flopsy, scratching the back of his head with one paw. "Anyway, wanna help me catch a fish?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... my goal for this next round of fics is to have at least two updates a week on this fic, and hopefully by the end of this weekend the first chapter of Preposterous Proposals, another fic I'm currently working on, will be published with only one update a week, as it's going to be much shorter.  
> I've also got a few one-shots planned as well as a future multi chapter fic that will probably make a few of you cry if I've done my job right. Until then!


	3. The Chicken Legged Shack

"Fish?" said Mabel, who was taking the news that she and her brother had stumbled into an alternate dimension quite calmly.

"Yeah, I wanted to go fishing today," said Flopsy, waving his paw at a fishing line he had planted into the ground by the boulder he had been sitting on, "the weather seems really nice for it, don't you think?"

"Um... but I don't think rabbits eat fish?" said Mabel, tilting her heat to the side.

Flopsy blinked momentarily before slamming a paw against his forehead. "Oh yeaaaaaaaaah," said Flopsy with a giggle. "Guess I forgot."

"Um... I kind of want to get back to the whole 'we are in a magic kingdom' thing that's happening right now," said Dipper, who was kind of freaking out.

"Aw, relax," said Flopsy, reeling in the fishing line from the river as he spoke, "People stumble into Faerie all the time; they usually find a way home eventually."

"Our uncle got trapped in an alternate dimension for thirty years," Dipper countered as he shuddered at the idea of living in a magical land all the way into his forties.

"Dipper, the gateway back is right there," said Mabel, pointing to the stone doorway just a few yards away. "It's not exactly hard to miss-- and besides, we're among friends," she waved vaguely at Flopsy, who was bouncing cheerfully as he put away his fishing rod. "We're probably the first humans to enter Faerie since the gate was left open! Forget the deer, let's start exploring!"

All three felt their stomachs growl at the same time.

"First, let's get some lunch," said Flopsy, "Did you all bring anything?"

"Just some Cheese Boodles and a jar of peanut butter," said Mabel, checking the bag she had brought with them on the hike.

"Well, that's an okay start," said Flopsy, "But I know a place where we can have giant food! Follow me!"

"Won't eating the food here, I don't know, make us go crazy and unable to eat regular food when we come back, though?" said Dipper, who, along with Mabel, trailed after Flopsy down the meadow.

"Nah, Food Chain spells were banned ages ago," said Flopsy dismissively. "Ever since some crazy lady tried to trick kids into spying for her with cursed Turkish Delight-- good thing Turkish Delight is super gross. Turkish Disdain more like it. Anyway," said Flopsy, who had lead them towards the edge of a tilled field, "There's a giant farm just up ahead; they've got giant cows, giant chickens, giant vegetables, giant fruits-- you get the idea."

"Are we about to steal food from giants?" said Mabel, who thought she saw a giant head of lettuce in the distance. "I don't know if I want to start my first day in Faerie stealing. It's just feels like a bad first impression."

"Aw, relax," said Flopsy, who hopped over to an enormous patch of strawberries, "Me and the other kids at school do this all the time; Giants have more than enough food to share, just don't get caught and everything should be okay."

"Remind me to never let Flopsy meet Stan," whispered Dipper to Mabel.

Flopsy returned with three chunks of strawberry that he had cut off from the enormous fruit with a pocket knife he'd been carrying in his jacket. He offered the fruit to the twins, who gladly accepted. While the fruit was delicious, both agreed that eating nothing but strawberry for lunch was not a fulfilling meal.

"So, what was that about the deer wanting us for some mission," asked Dipper, not believing half of what he'd just said.

"Yeah, the White Deer is one of these fortune-changing whatsits-- Omens? Yeah, that sounds about right," said Flopsy, wiping strawberry juice off his face with a swipe of his paw. "Usually shows up in other dimensions when they feel like Faerie needs outside help."

"What help? Things seem pretty nice here," said Mabel, thoroughly enjoying the golden afternoon. "I mean, it's a little weird how chilly it is in the middle of summer--"

"Of course it's chilly, we're up north," said Flopsy, "but yeah, it's super weird for the deer to start showing up, I can't really think of why it'd want to bring anybody here to Vasilissa's Grange. (That's the town nearby.) It's really nice here, if a bit boring."

Suddenly, the ground began to shake violently.

"Um, does this place normally have freak earthquakes?" asked Dipper nervously.

"It's not an earthquake," said a panicked Flopsy, pointing in the distance. "It's the farmer!"

"You rotten kids!" snapped the giant, who was stampeding towards the kids with the ferocity of a rhino, "Get away from my crops!"

They didn't need to be told twice: the trio booked it out of the field and into the woods, the sound of the giant's curses still echoing in the distance.

"... Do you guys remember the way back to the portal?" asked Dipper, who couldn't see the farm nor the gateway they had left behind in the forest.

"Er.... sure," said Flopsy halfheartedly. "I think it's through here!" said the Pooka, pointing to a seemingly random fork in the road up ahead.

The twins followed Flopsy for what seemed like hours, and yet, they were no closer to getting out of the forest than when they first started.

"Flopsy, it's okay to admit you're lost," said Mabel, as the Pooka began to act even more frantic each passing minute they were still in the woods.

"No, no," said Flopsy, his nose quivering as he spoke, "we're not lost, I'm sure we can get back any minute--"

"Flopsy, we've passed that tree six times already," said Dipper, pointing to a fir tree with broken branches on the right, "We've been going around in circles!"

"You've actually passed this tree seven times," said a low voice from the shadows. A large wolf emerged from underneath the tree; a fearsome creature with shaggy black fur and orange, ember-like eyes glowing from it's long face. The wolf towered over the others, to the terror of both Dipper and Mabel.

"Oh good, finally some help," said Flopsy, ignoring wolf's feral appearance.

"Um, Flopsy--" began Mabel, but the rabbit paid her no heed.

"Hey buddy," said Flopsy breathlessly, "can you point us back to town, my friends think we're lost, and we're totally not and I just need you to show them that we're not that far from town, just to prove a point, okay?"

The wolf stared down intimidatingly at the tiny creature without saying a word.

"... Maybe we can just find town by ourselves after all," said Dipper, not liking the look the wolf was giving them.

"Hey yeah, who wants to race to the other side of the forest--" said Mabel, her tone a bit hysterical.

"-- yeah, that's sounds great, let's go now--" said Dipper, grabbing Flopsy by the shoulder in an attempt to get away from the wolf.

"Stay put," commanded the wolf at last, "I go get help now."

"Wait, what," said Mabel, tilting her head to the side in confusion.

"Getting help now, don't move," said the Wolf, who ran down the path without any further instruction.

"Good thing we found Petyr," said Flopsy, settling against the trunk of the tree at last, "He's like, the sheriff or whatever, he'll keep us safe."

Dipper wondered if being in Faerie was going to send him into a panic attack.

"Flopsy, we thought that guy was gonna bite your face off!" said Mabel, relieved that the wolf was seemingly harmless.

"Nah, he's just not a people person, that's all," said Flopsy dismissively. "Or, you know, a people-wolf.... wolves-wolf... wolfy fairy guy.... the idiom escapes me."

Something was traveling down the road towards the children just then. In the dark of the forest, it was hard to tell exactly what this thing was, until it was standing right in front of them. A tiny shack, ramshackle and rustic, was perched on a pair of chicken legs, which were now crouching down in front of the children, leaving them face to face with the door.

"Um... what the heck is that," said Mabel, raising an eyebrow at the strange little house.

"Maybe that's who the wolf sent to help?" said Dipper, but even as he suggested this possibility, he remembered that Petyr had gone the other way.

Flopsy sat frozen on the ground, his nose twitching faster than ever, his eyes wide with fear at the sight of the chicken legged shack.

The tiny door opened, revealing a tall, yet gnarled looking old woman, her hair wrapped in a red handkerchief around her wide head.

"Good evening, children," she rasped to the trio in a scratchy voice, "Perhaps you'd like to come inside my home? It'll be much safer in here than it would be out in the forest."

"Um... we're kind of expecting somebody, actually," said Mabel, who disliked something about the old woman's smile. Why did she have so many red stains on her apron?

"No, that won't do," said the old woman, clapping the girl on the back with her massive, claw-like hands. "You three need to come with me at once, or you'll be in terrible danger."

"Keep your hands off my sister," snapped Dipper, yanking Mabel back from the creepy old lady's grasp.

The woman's smile disappeared at once, instead replaced by a grimace that showed off every one of her steely, sharp fangs.

"I told you there would be danger if you didn't come with me willingly," she snarled, but before she could strike, a rock hit her across the brow, drawing blood.

"Guys, run, now!" said Flopsy, taking both Dipper and Mabel by the arms as he lead them down the forest path away from the old woman.

"Who was that," said Mabel, looking back to see if the old woman followed; she was relieved to see that the stranger hadn't so far.

"Baba," said Flopsy, who saw a sign that said Eclipse Manor wasn't too far away. He immediately pulled the twins towards that location.

"Um, and that is," said Dipper, more confused than ever.

"A witch-- no, _the_ witch," said Flopsy, scurrying down the road at a lightning pace. "If we don't get somewhere safe soon, she's going to put us in a stew or something equally messed up, so, you know, run for your lives!"

"It's okay though," said Mabel, looking back once more, "I don't think she's following us now--"

"Look up!" said Dipper, pointing to the sky in front of them. Circling like a great vulture was the woman, Baba, in what appeared to be a giant mortar. She was flying right towards them, a malicious gleam in her black, unforgiving eyes.

All three of them began to scream.

*  *  *

Queen Titania was at a stalemate with her toddler, Prince Daya, who was refusing to eat his carrots.

"Now, come on baby, just another bite, please," she asked sweetly.

"No!" said Daya, turning his nose up disdainfully at the hated vegetable.

Titania sighed.

"Okay Kiddo," said Titania, dropping the sweet tone now that she knew it would get her nowhere, "what's it going to take to get you to eat your vegetables this evening?"

"Doggie!" cried Daya.

"Daya, you're not getting a doggie, our cat just had kittens," she replied sternly.

"No, doggie," the boy insisted, pointing out the dining room window. There stood a wolf, large and intimidating, his large, ember eyes pleading for her to open the window.

Titania unlatched the window, opening it wide to greet Petyr.

"Petyr? What's wrong?" she asked.

"There is trouble," he said simply.

"What sort of trouble?" she asked, suddenly very business like.

"There is trouble," the wolf repeated.

Titania scowled. "Yes, you've made that fact plain," she sighed, "Would you care to elaborate?"

The sounds of children screaming filled the air, sending a chill down the back of Titania's neck.

"That kind of trouble," said Petyr.

"Cobweb," the Queen called, and in the blink of an eye, the white haired lady appeared.

"Yes, your grace," asked Cobweb.

"Watch Daya while I take care of this," she commanded; Titania summoned a wand from the ether and, with a flick of her scepter, her fine gown turned to golden armor. "Make sure he eats his carrots."

*  *  *

Baba Yaga cast a spell that tied the three children together in tight, strangling bonds.

"When I get you home, I'm going to make hasenpfeffer out of you and your friends," the old witch threatened.

"Hasen-what now?" asked Mabel.

"RABBIT SOUP!" screamed Flopsy, "I was fifty percent sure that's how I'd always die!"

Before Baba could load the kids into the mortar, she felt a kick to her head, which doubled her over in pain. In the dark of the woods, she could make out the form of a woman with rosy, curly hair glaring down a her.

"You!" the witch snarled, flying to her feet to face her.

"Me," Titania stated; with a flick of her wand, she made the bonds around the kids vanish.

"I told you I'd finish you one day, Lissa," snarled the witch, aiming a bolt of fire at the Queen, who blocked it with a counter curse.

"Lissa was my grandmother, Yaga," snapped Titania, the sound of her voice thunderous in the dark, "but let me make something very clear."

She blasted a spell that sent Baba flying through the air.

"If you ever come after any child in my Queendom with your rickety, tacky little hovel again, I'm going to finish you off for good, now SCRAM!" She shot at the witch once more, this blow causing Baba to scream with agony, but before she could retaliate, Titania teleported herself and the three kids far away, back into the warm light of Eclipse Manor's dining hall.

Dipper and Mabel stared blankly at Titania, not fully registering what had just happened. The Queen smiled brightly at the two.

"Hello kids," she said warmly, "How's your summer been? Besides, well, that little incident?"


End file.
